Third Watch 2 God

I am kinda freaked right now... I am new to this whole blogging thing.
I have been working... a little - on the blog.
Why?
I don't really know.
I have always thought the idea is cool.
But the idea of blogging kinda scares me too.
Getting addicted to blogging.
Spending too much time on the computer.
It's kinda neat to have an online... um... diary.. of sorts, with pictures, video, music, etc. But then again, do I want to share my thoughts with the world?

See, I am an impulsive guy... My impulses directly lead to action. I have to try very hard to pause between impulse and action. That's why I, like so many people with ADD, can seriously lack tact. Tact is entirely dependent on the ability to consider one's words before uttering them. We ADD types don't do this so well. Sorry folks... In advance.

It's funny... I am totally ok with complete strangers knowing what is going on in my mind, but people who know me...
MMMM....
not so much.

Well tonight I stumbled onto an interesting individual's blog:
His name is Maurice Broaddus, and I envy his mantra (my wife loves 'big' words... not so much in size, words that somewhat show some form of academia):
"I'm about the pursuit of Truth, be it through art, religion, or science. Because all truth is God's truth."

He is an award winning Christian Horror Writer... I can hear the gasps of many evangelical Christians now.

I am not even a Horror fan, but I found his blog as a result of one of my favourite TV shows - Third Watch... I was surfing the net for others that have felt a spiritual connection of sorts as a result of an episode.

What spurred this?
My first comment on my blog:

'beautiful...i'm with Doc on this one.' - from my Thursday, March 22, 2007 blog post.
That was a 3rd watch proverb type of post.

Well, one of Mr. Broaddus' posts has a prayer that speaks perfectly to making sense of me:

"Dear God,

Save me from the pride of having things figured out. The arrogance of thinking I’m doing things the right way. That everyone else is wrong and I’m the only one who sees what went wrong. As if I know how to do things correctly; that somehow, I’m smart or insightful enough to be able to ride in on a high horse of judgment. Save me from my vision of religion and spirituality blinding me from loving others.

Save me from the spirit of bitterness against the church. My frustrations at our inability to be the kind of loving community You called us to be. The shoddy treatment I may have experienced at the hands. The let-downs and disappointments - it’s easy to focus on the Church’s shortcomings. Just as it’s easy to forget that the Church is us and You don’t focus on our short-comings. Let me remember all of the wrongs the Church has committed in Your Name, let every experience sear my heart so that they won’t be repeated on my watch. Help me to remember that the Church is Your bride, however numerous her faults, and how you’ve chosen to bring about Your kingdom.

Save me from the spirit of hearing sermons “so and so” should be hearing or reading books “so and so” should read, but help me to realize that I’m the one who should be hearing and reading. Help me to do my part to inflict less damage into the world. Remind me that I am here to love “those people”, too. Remind me that too often I’ve been a part of the problem.

Save me from my own hubris of the rightness of my spiritual journey. Help me as I work out my journey. Reveal Your Word to me in a fresh way so that I may know you better. Let my questions draw me closer to the reality of You. Let my life reflect Your love and healing. Let my actions help bring reconciliation.

Prayerfully, I’d settle for at least being on the right track.

Ever stumbling toward faith,"

Jeff